Difficult Conversations – Part I: Start with you

At some point in our lives, most, if not all of us, have experienced someone talking about a less than ideal situation at work. We’ve heard it either as a manager, an employee or the good friend that listens to how a coworker doesn’t pull their weight every day. Maybe it’s feelings of how they ‘deserve’ recognition for their efforts, either via a promotion, or something as simple as words of affirmation. As the friend, manager, or the offended one, how do we handle these situations without upsetting the individual or being perceived as insensitive? Maybe you’ve thought it will get better on its own, or that it’s just not worth the effort. If you manage people, and don’t have these necessary conversations, it’s time to reflect why not. Think about which core values play a part in your decision making – and how you are reflecting those day to day

What better time than now to reflect how things went well, and where there are opportunities. This is important, not only to you as a leader and person, but also to the organization you lead. Be honest! I offer some questions to expose areas that may help provide direction:

– What have you observed?

  • Is my team operating at its best?
  • Are there specific activities or needs that I haven’t addressed?
  • Are there individuals who are struggling?

– What have I done to help the team or individual to set them up for success?

– What conversations did I avoid? Why?

What specific signals will alert you that you’re avoiding a difficult conversation? What steps can you put in place that allow you to move forward and not back away from the conversation?In Part II of this series, I’ll help you frame an approach to having that conversation.

This is just the beginning of a transition to a stronger leadership presence but recognizing and acknowledging where we avoid difficult conversations is a great first step. This type of topic is perfect material for a coach. It allows you to explore how your project leadership in a safe, confidential environment.

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David L. Onks

I’ve worked with leaders who were doing everything right – hitting goals, leading teams, and building strong careers – but still struggling to create alignment, clarity, and momentum across their organizations.

At the senior level, leadership challenges change. They’re no longer about effort or capability. They’re about communication, influence, and visibility.

 

What I’ve seen is this:

  • Leaders often believe they’re being clear – but their message doesn’t always land the way they expect.
  • Influence becomes more complex, especially across teams where there’s no direct authority.
Small gaps – left unaddressed – can quietly grow into larger issues that impact performance and trust.

 

That’s where focused, objective support makes a difference.

 

I work alongside leaders in real time – helping them navigate the situations they’re actually facing.

  • Preparing for high-stakes conversations
  • Working through team friction
  • Aligning across functions
  • Making decisions with broader impact

We combine candid feedback, structured assessment, and practical coaching to create awareness and drive action.

With more than 500 hours of coaching experience, I’ve worked with leaders across different roles and organizations to:

  • Improve communication and clarity
  • Strengthen influence across teams
  • Build accountability
  • Drive measurable business outcomes

 

Why Sparked?

Sparked was built on a simple idea:

Leaders grow faster when they have a trusted partner who provides honest feedback, real perspective, and consistent accountability.

 

This isn’t about adding more to your plate. 

 

It’s about helping you lead more effectively with the time and responsibility you already have.

 

The goal is straigtforward:

Help you strengthen your team, improve results, and lead with clarity and confidence – especially when it matters most.